On the one hand, I had to pick up the kiddo from daycare because of suspected hand, foot and mouth disease.

On the other, he ran over and emphatically hugged me and said "Daddy, I love you," so.

Shoutout to the lady with the plugs and the impressive mullet eating a massive fancy burger at 9 am.

(reads an interview with René Redzepi, sees "Legos," flips a Danish table.)

Mentions sexual assault Show more

Four people just got on the tram, all wearing AirPods. I think you’re on to something, Apple.

Shoutout to the old guy on the tram with the greasy ponytail, wearing head to toe white, a gold chain wrapped around his fist, Gucci bag at his feet.

Robot vacuum: "Going back to the dock."

(watches it plow into the garbage bin, spin around slowly, smash into walls, frantically drive around the room for 10 minutes)

Robot vacuum: "Helppppp meeeeee."

For some reason the kid says "helmet" like a cliché French person, dropping the "h," and it's the best thing ever.

Fuck me, laptops are expensive here.

“I’m a big boy,” says Sam to passing strangers.

My son now own’s the world’s noisiest remote controlled car.

Got my first Hey Send Us Bitcoin Or We'll Send Out A Video Of You Watching Porn To All Your Contacts email.

It was to an email address for a service that's discontinued, though they did have the password in plain text - I'm guessing a data breach?

What a time to be alive.

Wait, how'd you know I was a parent?

I can tell I’m horribly sleep deprived, because I had to stop myself from breaking up two sparrows fighting.

Sometimes you just need to sit in a room on your own with a wedge of blue cheese and write some specs, y'know?

Show more

We eat bandwidth for breakfast.